I applaud your courage. I'm in the same predicament with my 86-year-old mother. I'm 64, with a life-long disability myself. After my step-father died last May, I traveled to North Carolina last summer and spent a week with her and brought with her some documents she needed for Social Security (how in the heck the SSA screws with people and their survivors after they die should be front-page news), to prove that they were married for nearly 48 years. Thankfully, my mother can still drive and look after herself - for the most part. She did weight watchers and is thinner that she was when she was 20. But here's the deal - she lives in a house that is a) too big for her, b) has little to no money (thanks to my niece, step-sister and her ex-husband) and c) has a dog and cat. I'm going back down there next month for 12 days to organize a garage sale with (hopefully) a couple of friends of mine from Alabama. I would love it if she would move back to Michigan where my sister and I could look after her a bit better, but that would require a big job. Right now, I have access to about $6,000 (which is for my final stuff), while waiting on my dad's money after his widow dies. My great-niece is there, except when she's not. She's supposed to be looking after her great-grandmother, but she's not. She's 21. My family dynamic is so screwed up right now, Freud would give up.