You're not alone. We've all gone through shit. Nothing has ever felt right to me, either. I had disinterested parents, overzealous teachers and people who just made my life miserable as can be. Human beings are not empathetic, with rare exceptions. We are all singular beings of our own creation. We spend the first 20-30 years of our lives attempting to figure out, sort out, reams of educational bullshit and (mostly) white-centric history. Then we spend the next 30-40 years, if we're lucky enough, to find someone who will tolerate our shit while conforming to societies norms (career, marriage, family) and the last 20-30 years, if we're lucky, in some sort of contentment. When in reality, we never achieve what we strive for or a level of inner peace. We lie, cheat, steal, lust, rape, plunder, kill. We're really good at those. In my lifetime, I have seen men walk on the moon, to a spaceship exploding, I survived boarding school and two-years-in-hell at a University who lied to me from day one. I was mainstreamed into society in much the same way I was sent to boarding school. I was on my own for the most part. I never married or had kids, but I brought a house for one and lived with her for nine months. She lied to me (and my mother as well) to get what she wanted. It took me six years to finally get settled. I think I 'lived' in at least five places in-between. I almost moved to Australia and the UK during the time between 1998-2003. Since 2004, I have lived in the same complex. In the past few years, I have found people I have known for 20, 30, 40+ years aren't the people I thought they were. Hey, it happens. You deal with it and move on.